It Is More Than Just A Christmas Tree. They Were Never Just Baubles.

For many people the impeding doom and hassle of dismantling Christmas is more effort than they care to have to exert after the festive season. Some people go minimal decs because it means minimal output at the other end. Some people throw caution to the wind and go all out before remembering it all has to come down and go somewhere and the amount of times I have heard “well that’s why I have a real tree, less hassle”. For me, it hits different. My house starts its Christmas transformation in November, for 2 reasons. Firstly, Stir Up Sunday is huge in our house and if we are making a ton of Christmas puddings to gift our loved ones then of course we want to be doing it surrounded by holiday spirit. The second reason is because I want to enjoy December and soak every moment in. The elves and advent calendars arrive and I can sit back and enjoy. No, of course there is no sitting back, there are still presents to buy and wrap, food order slots to nab and normal ‘non festive’ life chores to still maintain, but I do feel more ready to jump in and enjoy the holidays.

I never tire of my decorations which is probably why it takes me so long to work up to packing them away again. Not because of the time and the effort. For me, especially with the trees, it is a moment of saying goodbye. I’ll explain.

Christmas has always been very special to me. When I was old enough to buy my first Christmas tree I started a tradition that I still carry through to this day. I buy one new decoration every year. I am sure there are tons of families who do the same and I think it is such a beautifully simple thing to do. It is a way of not adding so much clutter to the amount of decor you have in your home but it is a special and chosen, intentional addition that brings joy. I have taken this tradition so far into my being that I can name exactly where I was when I purchased each bauble on my tree and sometimes even the year. Of course there are the filler baubles on there as well which were from Home Bargains but those aren’t the ones that capture peoples hearts when they cast their eyes over my trees. Full disclosure, now don't judge me, I have 2 trees. The first is my OG tree. It is traditional and timeless adorned with red and gold. A myriad of shapes and sizes with not a branch left undressed. The second started as a garland and this year evolved into a tree. This is the fun bus of Christmas trees. No 2 decorations are the same and the theme is nostalgic chaos! Everything has a meaning or representation to a member of our family or was bought for us by someone we love. The annual bauble tradition became wide spread and so when people went away on holiday they would bring us back decorations so now we have traditional wooden hand crafted reindeer from Germany hanging next to Santa and an alligator from Florida and a bear from Canada. Each of those tiny pieces of ornamental glass hold a place in my heart and so when it is time to gently pack them all away for the next year I feel a liminal mix of sadness and excitement. Sad that I have to pack them away and anticipated excitement knowing how I will feel when I get to unpack them again. They are like old friends to me. Some were bought in years that mark utter joy whereas others are reminders of tougher times. Whatever they stand for though they and the memory that goes with them has a place on my tree.

This is why I will never change my main Christmas trees. Things will always be added but never taken away. Silly as it may sound, I truly believe there is a reassurance for my whole family that comes from seeing the same tree and the same decorations each year. They remember them, they recognise them, it is like a comforting hug or a blanket that smells like home. It is emotionally returning to a safe place where you feel secure. They are growing now and the tree looks smaller next to them every year, yet I still find them choosing to sit next to its glow though and often find them touching the decorations in moments of contemplation or absent minded daydreaming. I know that when they are all the way grown, they will come back to home and see the same beautiful decorations and be reminded of all the Christmases that went before. I am almost certain it will only be a passing feeling of nostalgia, a warmth inside their hearts they cant quite explain, but it will be there, like a light house beacon. They will tell stories to their children about which ones they chose and why they did, they will probably search for a particular one they remember and no doubt will tease me that I still have certain ones and that is how I will know it has always meant as much to them as it has to me.

As I pack them away, I can hear the memories of our Christmas around me. Almost like spirits of the season. I take each one down with care and remind myself of the happiness we enjoyed. It is my chance to quietly reflect and feel so very grateful for all that I have and all I am able to provide to my family and give to my friends. There is a feeling that I cant quite name but perhaps it is a little like grief that comes along too. Even when things don't go picture perfectly to plan, Christmas is still a time of year that holds wonder for me. It is unlike any other season of the year and this is the end of that. I will never relive the moments that have passed but sometimes, like a child at the end of Summer, I wish so much I could just go back, just for one more moment.

So as trends change and colours go in and out of fashion, I will not be partaking. I am sticking with my 2 joyous trees, my very own monuments to my life’s history.